Dear Stupidandcontagious,

reading your comment and then reading your blog made me so tired that I was unable to keep my computer turned on and write a decent answer.

I have a vague idea of whom you might be. It's a fact that some of the people I know share the qualities you have : excellent writing skills and finding time to read and think about philosophers and their theories. I don't know if you know me, but you seem to think you do. Let me tell you this: I have decided to live my life and quit the excessive thinking, bulemia, self-hatred and desperatly looking for a meaning in all this. If you say that interchangeability wins - for whatever reason - I can tell you it hasn't. For the simple reason that I have never been able to exchange myself for someone better than the girl I am. And that's probably all I've ever wanted to exchange.

I wouldn't want to change with anyone anymore. Thank God for that. I feel at ease with bad times and circumstances. I'm sure I can never go back to where I've been - except if I bore children and saw them die before I did. I am thankful for what I've got. A well functioning body and mind, a crazy family and a dozen friends. Little conscience or compassion.