Liverpool

I've just received an email that says I've won 2,500,000 $ and I'm a bit confused. Is it a coincidence that the contact address is in Liverpool, while I'm actually residing here until next Sunday? I'm tempted to call the 070 number and claim my prize ... I'd quit my job at the end of the month and develop my own projects in real estate and music. I'd buy my mom and dad a new car and get their house redecorated. I'd probably tell them to quit their jobs too. But let's not get overexited. This mail was sent to twenty other belgian emailaddresses. Before I start spending the first dollars in my new wallet I'd better have a look it the number is known by Google. And it is: "419" Scam / Fake lottery UK Phone Numbers.

Right. Bye, bye dollarsign.

I've been living a bit as a lottery winner though here in Liverpool. Because all hotels were full my company booked a room in the Radisson SAS for 15 nights. Excellent service, exquisite breakfast buffet. Floor heating in the bathroom! The worst part of it is that I really don't need all this. I'm not used to it and I found out floorheating is overrated. Except if you were living in Siberia or Greenland. Liverpool may be cloudy and windy, it is not cold. In an hour I'm off for a brisk walk along the Albert dock. I also want to go buy some audiobooks in the bigger bookstores. Since I'm no longer taking the train to work I miss the reading. In the evening my eyes ache from reading and writing procedures and manuals. I have a strong feeling audiobooks and I will be close friends.

I'm working in a building surrounded by the ones in the picture. The training week so far has been off and on interesting. I haven't met any interesting single straight male Liverpudlian. The most exiting moment this week was when a hyperanxious student (who happens to be gay, fashionvictim and dyslexic) fainted during my training. I wan't being obnoxious, authoriatarian or homophobic because that's not my style. No, he just fainted because he hadn't had breakfast and was afraid to do an exercise in front of the rest of the group. Honestly, I thought he was dead when I heard the bang and saw him lying on the floor. I desperately need a first aid course because even if you just faint in my class I do not know what to do. Someone put his feet in the air and asked whether he heard us. He gained consciousness very quickly, drank some deeporange lemonade, got up and asked if he was going to get the sack. I told him he was not going to get the sack because he fainted. He sure as hell wasn't going to get the sack because he was gay either. This place is bursting with gay employees! How on earth am I going to succeed in the additional task my crazy french boss gave me: to find a husband? English employees are famous for their drinks after work and what did I do yesterday evening? I went to a gaybar with two lesbians and one gay. I must say Helen is a rather attractive one and after a couple of glasses of wine I almost saw myself in a lesbian relationship. I'd heard she made a remark on my tight jeans earlier ...

But then again I'm sober now and the gaybar's closed.

So we all went home after two hours at the gaybar. Angela headed off for Amsterdam at 3am this morning, Helen had to take her eight year old brother out for his birthday today and I forgot what Richard's plans were. I went back to the hotel, got into my pyjamas and ordered room serive: macaroni leek bake and a green salad. Good food when you're a bit drunk. I went to sleep almost immediately after eating it and watching a friends episode on sky. I thought I was in for a good long rest but sleeplessness at 1am ruined that plan. I woke up extremely thirsty, drank what was left in my 1/2L water bottle, took a diet coke from the minibar and tried to go to sleep again. In vain. I kept thinking about the start of the campaign on Monday, all the work that still has to be done. I switched on the television, seached and found lame tv-shows: MTV for the deaf and auditory handicapped. Some lady dressed in fuchsia was dancing to and fingerspelling the texts of the songs. I'd never imagined there to be a marked for this target group on MTV. I stared at the show for five full songs. One of The Kaisers Chiefs, Natalia Imbruglia, David Powter, The Black Eyes Peas and Franz Ferdinand. Then I'd had enough. Still, I was and am stunned to be so unknowing about the world of auditory handicapped. From there it went to a Bollywood movie about a female doctor who refused to go for a ride with a male colleague whom she obviously fancied, because she had no slippers on?! On channel 4 I saw parts of the truck version of Carrie: thirty tons diesels with a mind of their own on the lose killing innocent and helpless humans. BBC1 showed news on Wilma and the bird's flu. I managed to see a whole episode of an american detective. Al Bundy (what's this guy's real name?) solved the puzzle when he found out the rich lady had killed her husband and his mistress because he was going to leave her. I guess it could happen to me too if I'd really win the lottery and would find myself a husband.

But let's go for the audiobooks first. According to some deathtest on the internet I've got 54 years left before I die. I'll never be able to live with someone for that long anyway. Don't hurry, be happy.