une femme like you

Donne-moi ton coeur baby
Ton corps baby hey
Donne-moi ton bon vieux funk
Ton rock baby
Ta soul baby Hey

Chante avec moi, je veux une femme like you
Pour m'emmener au bout du monde,
une femme like you Hey

Though the song above is about a transvestite or she-male, it inspires me to write about women . That ànd the fact that last Tueday I was in church listening to the priest preaching about women. It sounded like he didn't know thàt new kind of woman - single, well earning, generous, no kids and high on testosteron - come to think of it ... the new kind of woman is a nun but unmarried to God and overtly sexual. Pfjew. No wonder I wanted to be Mother Theresa when I was little. I saw it coming. Anyway, last Tuesday was the celebration of the day Mary died and went to heaven by means of an elevator cloud - that's how I've always imagined it : Mary in a shiny pale blue dress, with lace lining on a white cloud. During the sermon I kept humming a self-invented gospel in my mind : Praise the Lord for inventing women, for what would this world be without childbearing mothers, cocksucking lovers, desperate housewifes, crazy aunts, married sisters, hardworking prostitutes or they-don't-know-what-they're-missing lesbians? Glory, glory, hallelujah.

It took me 30 years and 5 years of semi-singledom to realize women are as interesting as men. Obviously, I've always known we were the more cunning of our species. Nevertheless, beware all you women out there, for the legging is about to become fashionable again. Unless you've followed my diet and now have a pair of killer thighs and buns, I would suggest you turn away from this infamous bad taste must-have.

But back to men. Some of you guys might think I am being rude talking about categories and the lot, but the more intelligent amongst my readers might have understood it is a mere technique to give some color and body to my texts. Of course I don't think in categories, but in Yes and No's, and take it from there.